So today I had a bone scan. This is because since discovering my lump I have been getting shoulder pain in the affected side. As this is a symptom of secondary breast cancer in the bone, my oncologist is taking no chances.
The scan is divided into two halves. Firstly I had to arrive at Wycombe hospital for a NM Injection. NM stands for nuclear medicine. In other words, radioactive. This is a tracer which absorbs into my bones so that any traces of cancer will show up on the scan.
The scan is the second half of the process which will be done three hours after the injection.
I arrived at the hospital at 11:25am for my injection. I have rubbish veins and the nurse couldn't find one in the usual place so the injection had to be given to me in my wrist. It didn't hurt but I could feel the cold liquid going up my arm and for some reason this really freaked me out and I started to have a panic attack. I asked the nurse if there were any side effects to the jab and she said that there wasn't so I knew that it was my anxiety causing my problems.
As my scan wasn't for another three hours I was allowed to leave the hospital so I went to visit my mum. As soon as I arrived at my mums house I broke down and I could feel the panic rising. I felt shaky and I suddenly felt as if the injection was poisoning me, which of course it wasn't. I just felt so very frightened. Frightened that if this is how I feel after one poxy injection with no side effects, then how the hell was I going to feel after chemo. I honestly started believing that I can't do this. The fear was winning.
After about an hour I began to calm down and started to tell myself that if I was going to have an allergic reaction to the jab or if it was going to cause any side effects then something would have happened by now. My mum kept hugging me and reassuring me and telling me that it was only normal for me to feel so scared.
At 2:25pm I arrived back at Wycombe hospital ready for the scan. I had been told to drink plenty whilst I waited for the tracer to absorb into my bones, so in three hours I had gone through about 4 litres of evian water. I had done nothing but wee since and I also had to empty my bladder before beginning the scan as a full bladder could interfere with the results.
The nurse called me into the room and I was told to lay down on my back on top of the narrow table. A big tube was placed over my arms and I was told to keep them down by my sides. The nurse then positioned the scanner over my head with the square gamma camera placed inches from my face. I was asked to keep still and then the scanning process began.
I didn't feel any pain but with the camera positioned so close to my face I did feel a little bit claustrophobic. I was aware that the camera was slowly working its way down my entire body so I just tried to stay focused on one spot and I started to count. I had been told that the scan would take about half an hour so counting up to sixty five times took up five minutes. OBVIOUSLY.
This provided a good distraction for me. I had taken my own Duran Duran CD to be played but sadly the CD player wasn't working. Either that or the nurse just wasn't a fan of Simon and co but that's just WEIRD!
After about 25 minutes, or counting to 60 five times and then five times again, the camera was down by my ankles and I was bursting for a wee again. I kept telling myself that it wouldn't be long now, just my feet to go but my bladder was getting desperate to off load. I just hoped and prayed that I didn't sneeze or else I was going to be in all sorts of trouble.
The nurse came over and explained that everything was done, she just needed to take a few more shots of my painful shoulder. OH CHRIST, I needed a wee SO VERY MUCH!
The nurse went back over to her seat and then said "Only about five more minutes and then it will all be over" NO WAY, I was not going to be able to hold on for one minute longer. "I can't" I blurted out "I'm gonna wet myself" and with that I jumped up off the table and bolted for the loo. I literally just made it. The next 3-4 minutes in that toilet was a bit like a scene from Austin Powers. I piddled for England.
I sheepishly returned to the scanning room expecting to get a telling off but the nurse was happy with everything and I was allowed to go home.
The following week was a week of constant worry waiting for the results but 7 days later I got them.
ALL CLEAR
NO CANCER IN MY BONES
I AM NOT DYING
BEST. NEWS. EVER.
When I had mine I returned to the hospital to be told the machine had broken and I had to make a mad dash over to Stoke Mandeville. Whilst on my way got caught up in an accident. Eventually got there an hour later.
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