And So It Begins.....

Thursday the 13th September 2012,  that's right THE 13th, you know unlucky for some and all that jazz.......anyway I'm already going off topic. I'm on my bed texting my husband  while he's at work. He asks if I'm feeling ok as I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks. The symptoms of both of these disorders had left me agoraphobic for the best part of a year but after 8 months of cognitive behavioural therapy I was beginning to come out of the other side.

I told hubby I was feeling good and that I was just going to bed. We said goodnight and I put my phone down and just casually rested my hands on my chest....AND THERE IT WAS!

I felt it again, and a bit more. I gave it a bit of a poke and I stared at it for a while in the mirror. There was no mistaking, it was really there. A lump. Sitting proudly inside my right breast, like it belonged there or something. It's a strange sensation finding something like that invading your body. Not only was my first thought cancer, I just knew it was. Right down in my guts I knew, there and then that I had breast cancer.

I sent a text to my husband telling him to scratch that last bit of our conversation and I told him about my discovery. Now hubby  has put up with my hypochondria for many years now, so his first response was DON'T GOOGLE ANYTHING ! He promised me a good feel as soon as he got home from work.

I stayed awake for him to return home and he said "Right let's have a look at this then" I pulled up my top and as his hand reached my breast he felt it straight away. He then felt my left boob, just for good measure I think, and then said "No work for you tomorrow. We're gonna get you straight up the doctors"

SHIT, HE NEVER SAYS THAT! He always tells me how that rash is just a sweat rash, or that my swollen thumb isn't actually swollen as its exactly the same size as my other thumb. He's always telling me that "No love, you don't have a temperature, it's just hot in here" or "No dear, you don't have meningitis, you've just got a headache. Drink some water"

I knew for certain now that this just wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. I had a lump, a lump I knew was serious and I had to do something about it!