The Long Week

So, the thoughts are already beginning to swirl around my head. In a weeks time I'm going to have tests because they think that I have cancer. How am I going to cope with this? I don't cope very well with the common cold!

I don't want to go to work but I have to do something to keep my mind occupied. I work  in a supermarket on the deli counter. It works for a while but cancer is in my head now already. It's all I can think about.

I work with a great bunch of people, I really do but their moaning about schedules or hours or what the manager said to them, well quite frankly was beginning to get right on my fucking tits! I wanted to scream at them. I wanted to scream at customers who moaned that I had cut their ham too thick....REALLY? THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO FUCKING WORRY ABOUT IN YOUR LIFE? GET A FUCKING GRIP YOU STUPID FUCKING ARSEHOLES!!

I realise that this may have been a tad unfair as we all have problems and this wasn't their fault and god knows I love a good moan. I was a miserable bitch at work.

I told a few people and all of them told me not to worry. Their mum/sister/aunt/ had the same thing and it was just a cyst. Nothing to worry about. I started to kick myself for handling this so badly. After all I'm only waiting to attend a mammogram. But at the same time my brain was telling them to just fuck off. When you find a lump come back to me and tell me you're not worried. Christ this was a long week.